Still There
by EvilRegalOncer
Summary: "I can't set you free...But you have to survive. They need you, Ziva." In the desert, Ziva draws strength from an unexpected visitor who shows her that the team needs her more than she could ever imagine.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: NCIS isn't mine.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_Something tells her that she is not alone. She turns from the desk, one hand going to the rifle at her hip, muscles rigid. "Who's there?"_

_The air before her shimmers, and suddenly she is facing a woman who only looks a few years older than she. The stranger has straight dark hair and soft brown eyes. She is wearing a simple dark gray business suit, and she doesn't seem the least bit nervous to have a gun barrel hovering mere inches from her face. "Hello, Ziva."_

_The Mossad officer tenses up even more, finger tightening on the trigger. "Who are you? How do you know me?" she demands._

_"My name is Caitlin Todd. I used to work here," the woman says calmly. Ziva steps back, eyes widening slightly with fear._

_"Why are you here? Because my brother killed you? I had nothing to do with—"_

_"No," Kate says gently. "I'm here to ask you a favor."_

_"A...favor." Ziva lowers her gun a little. "What kind of favor?"_

_She isn't sure, but Kate looks like she's crying a little. "Take care of Tony and McGee for me. Tony acts like an immature teenager, but there's so much more to him than what meets the eye. And McGee..." Kate laughs shakily. "McGee's a puppy. He needs someone to look after him."_

_"...I will," Ziva replies quietly as she slips her rifle back into its holster. Kate smiles gratefully and turns to go, but Ziva calls her name. She looks back, giving the Israeli a questioning glance. Ziva takes a deep breath. "Kate...I am sorry about what happened to you."_

_"It wasn't your fault." The older woman hesitates, seeming to deliberate whether to speak again before doing so. "Ziva, I had the chance to kill Ari and I didn't. I saw his eyes, and there was something in them that...I couldn't do it. Whatever he may have been, he wasn't evil. And he loved you."_

_Ziva's throat is closed, preventing her from speaking, so she just nods. Kate smiles, and then she is gone like mist in the sun._


	2. Fight to Live

**Disclaimer: NCIS isn't mine.**

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><p>Every part of her body aches. Her nose is pulsing, her face is on fire and her elbow joints feel like someone has stabbed burning pokers into them. She lies curled on the ground, hands tied behind her back, wishing she was dead. <em>It's no less than I deserve<em>. She replays again the scene by the plane; feels Gibbs' lips on her cheek and then the plane taxis into the sky, leaving her alone. A dull throbbing forms in her chest, and it has nothing to do with any of her other injuries. _Gibbs...Tony...I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you..._

"You can't quit."

The unexpected sound makes Ziva's eyes snap open. Instinctively she cringes, expecting something to lash or stab her. Instead a hand gently touches her shoulder, and then a young woman kneels in front of her. "You have to fight."

"Kate?" Ziva croaks, squinting at the figure. "Why are you...?"

"I can't set you free," Kate says quietly, looking regretful. "But you have to survive. They need you, Ziva." Gently she eases Ziva up and props her against the nearby wall. The Mossad officer exhales as her aching spine sags against the support.

"No. They do not need me. I am better off dying here. It is proper, after what I've done." Ziva closes her eyes, swallowing a wave of grief. "I am far less than what they deserve."

"Ziva, you're just as important to them as I was!" Kate cries, grabbing the young woman's shoulders and gazing right into her eyes. "You saw what happened after I died. How do you think they'll react to losing you? Especially right after Director Shepard's death!"

"They will heal," she answers flatly, tearing her eyes away from Kate's. "It may not be easy, but...they will forget me."

"Do you really think so?" Kate growls. "You saved Gibbs' life, Ziva. And Tony...well, I don't think I need to spell that out for you. If he was a mess after Jeanne, imagine what he'll do when you die."

"I don't have a choice, Kate!" Ziva snaps, ignoring the protests of her muscles. "Nobody knows that I am here. I am too weak to fight, and even if I was strong, I could not." She nods to her bound wrists. "They will torture me until I either tell them what they want or until they grow sick of trying. If I am lucky, I will die during an interrogation. If not, I will starve or die of dehydration. There is no other way."

"There's another option," Kate answers, more gently than Ziva expects her to. "Keep fighting, Ziva. I know they're hurting you, and I know you want to give up. But you can't. Just wait a little more."

"I can't...Kate, I just..." A single tear carves its way down her face. Impatiently she cranes her neck and rubs her cheek against her shoulder, hating herself for being so weak. "I want this to end. My whole life means nothing. My sister, my brother, Eli, Michael...they're all gone. Gibbs...I don't know what he thinks of me, but whatever it is, I deserve it." Ziva leans her head against the wall, despair threatening to overwhelm her. "There is no reason for me to live."

"Tony loves you." Kate's voice is low, full of emotion. "And so do Abby and McGee and Gibbs. You may not know it, Ziva, but they do." When Ziva doesn't answer, Kate leans forward a bit, grasping her hand. "NCIS is looking for you. They're close to finding this place."

"What...?" Ziva stares at Kate, hope faintly kindling within her. "How did they—?"

"Tony." Kate smiles as she rises to her feet. "He's a lot smarter than he looks. I know that's hard to believe." She glances anxiously at the door. "I need to leave, Ziva."

"Kate..." Ziva smiles weakly. "Thank you. I will...keep fighting."

After what seems like mere heartbeats but is probably closer to a half hour or so, Saleem enters, dark eyes scrutinizing her. "Are you ready to try again?"

Ziva lifts her head. Kate's voice whispers in her ears: _Hold on, Ziva. They're coming for you. Just hold out a little longer._

When she answers, her voice is a disdainful snarl. "Do your worst."


	3. Aftermath

**Disclaimer: NCIS isn't mine.**

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><p>"I'm sorry. I should have trusted you." Ziva's heart beats faster as she looks up at Tony.<p>

"That's okay. I'm just glad you're alive." He shrugs, and for a few seconds there is an awkward silence.

"I saw Kate." The words tumble from Ziva's mouth of their own accord. "I wanted to give up, to die...but she told me to keep fighting. She said that you...all of you needed me."

Tony starts, his jaw tightening. "Kate?" As he speaks her name, his voice chokes, and for a moment a world of pain opens in his eyes. Ziva averts her own, quietly waiting for him to regain his composure.

It takes a moment before Tony is able to talk again. "Ziva, that's not—"

"I saw her, Tony. She saved my life."

Tony's jaw works for a second before he speaks again. "Why? Why would she show herself to you and not us?"

"Because it would have hurt you." Ziva doesn't have to think; the words spring naturally to her lips. "You didn't need to see her. There was nothing that went unsaid...or unknown. I never knew her, but if not for her, I would not have been there when you came."

"What?"

And so Ziva tells him about the first time they met. She tells him of the desert and her own grief and despair; how Kate had come and given her the strength to hold out.

When she finishes, there is silence. Tony swallows, hands fisting at his sides. "She told you all that?"

"Yes. And something else, too."

"What?"

Now it's Ziva's turn to swallow as she gazes up, locking her eyes with her old partner's. "She loved you."

His jaw clenches so tightly that it pops. "She said that?"

"She did not have to," Ziva replies softly. "It was very easy to see." As Tony's eyes mist up, she hastily turns away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

The senior agent's hand shoots out and grabs Ziva by the wrist. Startled, she glances back. Tony's green eyes are burning intently as he gazes into her own. "I lost Kate...and I never told her how I felt. I don't want that to happen again."

She smiles a little, placing her free hand on his cheek. "It won't."

And in that moment something heals within both of them. It's quiet and gentle, like a breath of fresh air. But the ache in their hearts fades—for Tony, something he has been carrying for years; for Ziva, it's more like redemption.

But they both know things will never be the same again. They had changed, this time for the better.

The faintest of voices seems to whisper in the quiet: _You'll never be separated again._

But maybe it's just their imaginations.


End file.
